It is my middle child’s 18th Birthday on Saturday 28th November. As I have had more time to think – not always a good thing- I have been reflecting on the day I gave birth to Edward. Eddie is my winter baby, and it was particularly grim being in a very long labour during a very long, dark, miserable day and night. My abiding memory of his birth is the realisation that no matter how bizarre the situation is, I am always a teacher.
Come Back Later
On the morning of the 28th November, I dropped my toddler, Harry, with my mam. Peter, a new and not very experienced driver, took me to the RVI in Newcastle in the car. He was possibly more nervous than I was. Anyone who knows the area knows it is IMPOSSIBLE to get parked. We eventually found a space. We slowly made our way to the maternity ward, as I was stopping every couple of minutes with contractions. When we got there, they said the dreaded words, I was not ‘far gone enough’ and to ‘come back later’. I took their word for it, but there was no way I was going back home. I couldn’t eat anything because I was ginormous, having contractions and it is NOT FUN sitting in a restaurant in such a state. How could we fill in the time?
The Longest Labour
What did we do? We walked into Newcastle to the Tyneside Cinema and watched ‘Morvern Callar’, a rather grim Scottish film starring Samantha Morten. It could quite possibly have been a decent film – but my regular contractions hindered my enjoyment and concentration. Plus, I have no desire to see it again because it reminds me of giving birth. Afterwards, we walked back to the hospital, where we stopped every couple of minutes due to my contractions. Obviously, praying the baby would come soon but not too soon!
A Trainee Doctor
When we went back to the ward, it was about 6.00pm. One of the midwives said that there’s a trainee doctor who has been waiting all day to see a birth, would I let him witness me give birth? For a split second I thought, why would anyone want to watch a birth? Then I thought, as a teacher, I should genuinely consider allowing someone who is clearly so dedicated and who wants to learn, watch me give birth. Peter agreed, especially as we were both teachers, we should let the young man share our experience. We said yes.
Birthing Pool
I wanted a water birth. I had always loved swimming and I am Pisces, so I had some bizarre romantic notion of giving birth in water. My romantic notions soon disappeared when I realised that we – the baby and me – were getting too relaxed and it was slowing my contractions down. I was slumped like a beached whale, with an NHS gown billowing around me to hide my modesty. There is not an ounce of dignity in bobbing around in an overheated, large bath desperately trying to give birth. It was NO fun. It was even less fun with the trainee doctor and Peter looking on. It had been 20 hours of contractions by this point. I wanted to GET THE BABY OUT. I took charge and insisted on getting out. I have never been so relieved to get on a bed.
Snacks
They say that women are programmed to forget the pain of giving birth, otherwise they wouldn’t do it again. This is true in my case. I have genuinely blocked most of it out. My abiding memory, 18 years later, is watching Peter and this young trainee doctor having a pre-packed sandwich and chit chatting about football by the side of the bed. I do genuinely believe that having the trainee there did take it less stressful for Peter.
Eighteen Years Later…
Eighteen years on, we have a fabulous young man on the threshold of adulthood. But my abiding thought is, who exactly was the young trainee doctor? I don’t have any romantic ending where we named the baby after him. I don’t even know his name and I was in no fit state to ask. I do wonder if he is some amazing doctor now, and he is sitting reminiscing about witnessing his first birth? So, if you happen to know a doctor who was training 18 years ago, it would be great if he could get in touch and give his side to the story.
Once a Teacher Always a Teacher
The moral – once a teacher always a teacher. I genuinely think it is important that as teachers, we give everyone who requests or needs it, a genuine opportunity to learn and grow. Our ability to influence and encourage others goes way beyond the classroom and we can make a difference to many people lives, in many different ways and even in the strangest of circumstances. Most importantly, once you have the mindset of always being a teacher, you should never lose it.